Jeff Cagle
i am a freelance documentary and editorial photographer living in the chicago suburbs.
my portfolio is at jeffcagle.com.
get in touch: jeffrey [dot] cagle [at] gmail
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Douchebag of the Week (Apr. 18-24)
Hey, you! Which part of “fans not permitted on field” didn’t you understand? Oh, that’s right. You didn’t even pay for a ticket—average price did go up this year, after all.
Perhaps had you been the adorable innocent that accidentally wandered on to a national stage and greeted your savior with, say, a lick on the cheek the first time he gently picked you up, things would have been golden and all would have been forgotten seeing as the Cubs did win the game.
But, no, instead you leapt out of that opportunity and tried to further delay the ballgame, which couldn’t have been worse timing because that just means Dusty Baker was getting to spend more time at Wrigley Field. And it’s probably why two-thirds of voters for a poll on the Tribune’s website about this incident (yes, really) blamed the cat when the poor guy trying to catch it had to do this. Tough shit, we say.
Of course, since the incident unfolded on television, animal rights activists immediately seized the opportunity to celebrate their eternally lost cause, probably ignoring what the cameras didn’t catch on Tuesday night:
The kitty left, but not before leaving considerable carnage in its wake. Multiple employees were bitten by the cat and needed treatment at Wrigley.
We love animals, but there’s a reason that this stray cat (a Wrigley groundskeeper suggested “Ozzie”) reminds us of that certain category of pets we knew while growing up. Perhaps a few of your friends had them, the types you were told not to approach or tease, and you consequentially came to despise them. Perhaps you were not allowed to refer to them back then as you should now and in the future, for nothing could be more appropriate than referring to such an animal as a douchebag because, after all, the last thing you want to do is handle them.
Can we officially call this the Curse of the Calico Cat yet?
Let’s recap the events since Tuesday: Cubs drop four straight, bullpen ace Carlos Marmol goes down with a sprained knee, slugger Aramis Ramirez goes down with a strained calf.
I wouldn’t be surprised to see a few dead kitties hanging from Harry Caray’s statue if this keeps up much longer.
