December 2008
113 posts
A DUI field guide
tesslynch: karion:
On answering the “have you had anything to drink tonight?” It would be inappropriate for me to suggest anyone lie to a police officer, although lying to a police officer is not a crime in most states. That said, the laws generally prohibit “driving under the influence,” not “driving while intoxicated.” In most jurisdictions, this means the state need only prove you were...
IT IS TOBIAS!! →
The story of the Blue Man Group public sex encounter just got a whole lot better:
Stephens identified himself to police as an actor from the Blue Man Group. But the theater group said in a statement today that no one by that name “has ever been employed by Blue Man Group as a performer or in any other capacity.”
When told the performance group rejected his story, Stephens replied,...
It’s currently 39 degrees. Up until a few days ago there was a good 10 inches of snow on the ground, which had been there for the better part of two weeks. Yet as I am typing this, my neighbor is outside cutting his lawn.
Endings and Beginnings
Tomorrow marks the end of my 365 self-portrait project. It kind of saddens me, but I’m also sick of pointing a camera at myself every day. I think it would be easier if I did a static composition a la Noah Kalina’s Everyday project, but I started it on a whim Jan. 1 and just kind of stuck with it after a while.
Some people have expressed to me that they’ll miss my project, but I...
Tobias? →
An actor in the popular stage production “Blue Man Group” and an assistant principal at Maine East High School in Park Ridge were arrested Monday for engaging in a sex act in a park near Chicago’s lakefront.
With all these people getting engaged/married/having babies and sharing their lives on Facebook, it’s going to be pretty awesome in five years to see how many of them are divorced.
What do the deaf hear in their heads when they...
jayparkinsonmd: mikehudack: jamesnord:
This question first came to me when I realized it is impossible (at least for me) to read without hearing the words in my head. So, if are deaf, what happens in your head while you read? More importantly, can you think without language?
After some research I found what you might assume, no you cannot think without language. In this way, being deaf can...
Widow-Maker strikes again →
A Marine fighter jet crashed Monday about a mile short of a runway at an eastern North Carolina air base, killing the pilot, a Marine Corps spokesman said.
The pilot’s identity was being withheld until next-of-kin was notified and an investigation had begun, Barton said. The AV-8B Harrier jet was assigned to Marine Attack Training Squadron 203.
How many dead Marines will it take to stop...
Remember when Sarah Palin “jokingly” said she’s always wanted a son named Zamboni?
Well, Levi Johnston did about the next best thing in naming his son Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston.
Easton is one of the largest hockey equipment companies in the world and Tripping is one of the most frequently called penalties in the game.
Zimbabwe cholera deaths pass 1,500 →
The number of cholera deaths in Zimbabwe continues to increase, a World Health Organization spokesman said Monday.
As of Sunday, the outbreak had killed 1,564 people, and 29,131 cases had been reported, Gregory Hartl told CNN. These figures represent increases from numbers released Thursday that showed 1,518 deaths and 26,497 cases.
CNN’s top story for the past three days has been about...
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You drink. You drive. You're REALLY screwed.
Starting Thursday, having a single drink and getting behind the wheel could potentially have serious repercussions for Illinois residents, as a new law goes into effect where first-time DUI offenders must install a breath monitoring device into their cars. I am all for tough DUI enforcement against those who feel either invincible or that laws don’t apply to them, as I have seen friends...
I will never understand women
My sister: So the four of them are going skiing and snowboarding up at Devil's Head and they didn't invite me.
My dad: But you don't like to ski...
My sister: They still could have asked! [storms off]
Did you know...
In my research for a post I’m working on about Illinois’ new law regarding the installation of breath locks in cars for first time DUI offenders and how this law has the potential to be thoroughly abused in certain areas, I found this little gem:
If a tested driver’s BAC is more than .05 but less than .08 percent and no drugs are found in the system, no Statutory Summary...
Oklahoma City has an NBA team?
Evidence of how little I care about pro basketball.
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VOTE FOR FUCK YEAH SHARKS! →
fuckyeahsharks:
Fuck Yeah Sharks is up for a Tumblr Award! best comedic. super cool, huh?
Don’t forget to vote for Ned’s other blog, Boner Party, too!
Learn something new every day
Marine: I was in a plane crash
Jeff: A for real real plane crash?
Marine: Yep, kind of. Before take off
Marine: Our plane ran into another one and it broke part of the wing
Jeff: Damn. Where are you?
Marine: France
Jeff: Ooo, France. Til when?
Marine: The 7th.
Marine: Man I hate French keyboards... I don't get why they're different. The letters are all jumbled.
Jeff: Are they not QWERTY?
Marine: What's QWERTY?
Jeff: If you look at the top row of letters they go Q-W-E-R-T-Y
Marine: Nope, no QWERTY. It's AZERTY.
Marine: I'm on a French Macbook
Jeff: Whoa, weird.
[Two minutes later]
Jeff: Oh yeah, so are you OK? Having been in a plane crash and all...
Slow news day, indeed
tesslynch:
Slow news day?
Jon Benet is stretching it, but this takes the cake:
digg_url = 'http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/chi-pattinson-ft-1223dec23,0,6587168.story'
Robert Pattinson cuts his hair but not his sex appeal
In a move that launched a bevy of online polls, “Twilight” star Robert Pattinson has cut his hair short. Really short. Crew cut...
FYI: Last night marked Chicago's 501st homicide in...
(via newsandbooze)
Dozens fall ill at health department party →
Seems fitting for The Onion:
A county health department in southern Illinois found its Christmas party anything but tasty after dozens of people fell ill at a restaurant. The head of the Lawrence County Health Department says she was among 42 people who got sick during the buffet gathering of 72 people on Dec. 15 in Lawrenceville.
Irony and norovirus FTW!
I just found $80 in my dresser drawer
Sometimes it pays off to stash cash and forget about it for six months. Especially when you find it around the holidays.
I hate when couples talk to each other via...
Health dept. shuts down Wiener's Circle →
Where will Chad and Trixie get their fix tonight?
Wiener’s Circle, an iconic hot dog stand on the North Side, was shut down by the city today after food inspectors found several food safety violations, including finding no hot running water at the Lincoln Park restaurant.
The restaurant, located 2622 N. Clark St., was also cited after inspectors found two pounds of cooked onions...
Just watched the Blago press conference
I don’t know what was more amusing: watching Rod Blagojevich make the case that he’s completely insane by assuring us he has the “personal knowledge” that he has done nothing wrong or watching Bob Sirott and Phil Rogers of NBC5 try to keep from losing their shit while providing post-conference commentary. I could hear other members of the press corps busting a gut as his...
Spotlight on St. Rita hockey star →
Do you have any pregame rituals or superstitions?
I always go to the washroom right before the game. If we are at Southwest Ice Arena, I take three paper towels then throw them away, use the hand dryer and then re-tie my skates. I’m known for tying my skates the tightest on the team. I’ve actually broken numerous laces.
Hockey players are nuts.
During my high school years I would pack my...
Shark Commits Suicide on Waterslide →
drned:
since when did TMZ ever give a shit about sharks?
See what happens when you think about sharks all day? It catches on!
'Tis the season for horribly written press...
Twice a year I help one of the trade magazines I freelance for gear up for the NAMM Show, which means I spend a few hours a day for about a month editing PR Speak out of press releases for the latest guitars, drums and gadgets hitting the market from the biggest instrument manufacturers in the industry.
That means twice a year I’m reminded why most journalists condescendingly call...
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I never thought I'd type this, but...
Despite my great dislike/borderline hatred of all things Pete Wentz-related (excluding lookalike Ned Hepburn!), I have to admit that the new Fall Out Boy’s Folie à Deux is actually really good. I’ve listened to it twice today so far.
Nice play, you cake-eating, Wilmette-bred emo kids!